I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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