Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
