Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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