Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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