this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She bit a glass in half.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
