after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
