You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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