do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
