chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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