It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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