I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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