You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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