Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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