She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he shaved USA in his pubs
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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