im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
