i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
