Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
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