so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
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He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
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He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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