that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just googled if crying burns calories
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
