Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
