can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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