I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hippo gnu deer
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
