Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
