They should really pass out barf bags in church
We need to rekindle our bromance
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
