dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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