I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
