Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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