i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
where are my eyebrows?
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