Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
