in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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