i was rollin on her like bob the builder
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
