I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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