I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
