Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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