it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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