if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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