Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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