i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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