I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
is wine microwaveable?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
