Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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