Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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