u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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