Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
