What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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