I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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