i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize