That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
