Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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