I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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