My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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