Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
