I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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