I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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