i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
