Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
