a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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