Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
