It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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