so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize