I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
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