Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
