If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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