That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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