Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
