Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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