Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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