i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize