Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
